My personal opinion is that increasingly we have started to find justifications for our actions. We attempt to find causes for behaviours that conveniently transfer accountability from to doer to an external influence. The actions of a serial killer, rapist or a brother who kills his sister over family honour are all attributed to causes such as parental neglect, childhood abuse or religious beliefs. Ask yourselves this question: "does every abused child grow up to be an abuser? Or does every neglected child grow up to do drugs or turn out to be a negative influence on society?" The answer is "no". The reality that most of us tend to overlook is: "there is always a choice".
I like to equate life with a menu card. A menu card of a very high-end restaurant that offers a multitude of choices. How much we pay and the length of time we have to wait to be served at a restaurant depends on what we choose from the menu card. Similarly, our lives offer us a whole host of choices at every stage. What we choose to go with decides the next events. I refer to an example I had used in an earlier post: Mahatma Gandhi choosing to stand up to racism in South Africa. He had a choice in that matter, didn't he? He could have opted to quietly leave the train and sit in the compartment for non-whites. When he returned to India and saw how the common man lived, he forsook his expensive tailored suits for khadi. He again had a choice, didn't he? He could have opted to continue wearing his suits and practicing law. The choices he made gave him the title Mahatma and gave every self respecting city in India a road named after him. The choices he made also got him assassinated. Obviously, his assassin also made similar choices that led him to commit that action.
It seriously bewilders me when people talk about not having a choice in the matter. "How is that possible", I wonder! Even when a gun is placed at somebody's head and they are told to do something, they have a choice - they can choose to believe that the holder of the gun means business and follow his orders, or they can choose to resist. I know somebody who fought back cancer at a very advanced stage successfully and is living a full life today. She decided she wanted to live and that choice gave her life.
All readers of this post, here is my request to you - sit back and reflect. Ask yourself, "was there ever a time in my life when I did not have the choice to be what I wanted to be, to do what I wanted to do". Answer the question honestly and objectively to yourself and you will come to the realisation that I have reached: "There had always been a choice and I HAD MADE ALL THE CHOICES". I know now that I have caused everything that has ever happened to me. There is no scope for remorse or recriminations now in my life. After all, who do I pose my recriminations to? My image in the mirror?
This simple realisation empowers you - it puts you in control and gives you charge of your life. Isn't this an important thing? To be in charge of one's life? This is the only life I am going to get as me and I'd like to know that I lived it my way.
As always, comments and feedback are welcome. Have a great day and listen to Frank Sinatra's "I did it my way".
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